Moms Cook ... Kids Play
April 14, 2010
My mother didn't teach me how to cook. It wasn't that she wasn't good at it, she was an excellent chef but she felt that "mom's cook, kid's played". What mom taught me was kid's should be in the kitchen with mom, learning and bonding. She taught me to buy my son's little aprons and teach them that men can cook and that they can have fun in the kitchen and eating something you made is a great reward.
My mother didn't teach me to be very domesticated. I had no chores and was just encouraged to play and be a kid, then be a teen. She showed me that if kids have no responsibilities that will lead into their adult lives and make functioning a bit difficult. She showed me that I need to make a chore list at home, and make my boys stick to it no matter how much they moaned about how much fun it wasn't.
My mother didn't know how to let go and relax when I reached my teens and adulthood. She showed me that the tighter you hold on to your children ... the more they will struggle to get free. And no matter what we try to show them they will always screw up because they are human and that’s what we do. She showed me they need to know that in your arms and heart they always have somewhere to return to after they screw up. My son's will someday disappoint me. But they will always know I love them, and should they return home for some reason; I'll sit down and talk to them like adults and take out my anger at the gym and cry after they are sleep.
My mother did teach me that children need affection. There was never a moment in my young childhood when I wasn't getting hugged or kissed. I have those memories to hold on to. And I know that no matter how old my kids get they will always get hugs and kisses from me as I smile and ignore the protests of "Moo-ooom, I'm too big for this." … Yes ... Yes dear you are, but you'll remember this moment when I'm gone.
My mother taught me that a woman can do anything she sets her mind to... without a man, a lesson that I had forgotten in recent years. We never went hungry, we were never "homeless" for very long. We were gypsy's for a while but that was an adventure, and I think I learned from those experiences. We may have moved around a lot but I remember that every time we were settled long enough she was always registered in whatever community college was close by... every time. It may have taken her years to do but she obtained her college degree a few years ago. We weren't speaking then but she sent me her degree. I have it framed in my house, and I'm always proud when I see it.
My mother raised me alone my whole life, and she may have made some mistakes. But, all humans do, no one is perfect. And one of my kid's may be writing a story like this in 20 years. Who knows?
There are many things I know now as a mom because of things she didn't do. But there are many things she did do. Although we don't speak now because of old wounds and old hurts. I know that perhaps someday we will. And I know that she tried her best and that she loved me in the best way she could.
To all the mother's out there reading this; Just do the best you can to make sure your children know you love them, the other mistakes will seem small in comparison, but bringing them back if they don't know you love them will be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do.
My mother didn't teach me to be very domesticated. I had no chores and was just encouraged to play and be a kid, then be a teen. She showed me that if kids have no responsibilities that will lead into their adult lives and make functioning a bit difficult. She showed me that I need to make a chore list at home, and make my boys stick to it no matter how much they moaned about how much fun it wasn't.
My mother didn't know how to let go and relax when I reached my teens and adulthood. She showed me that the tighter you hold on to your children ... the more they will struggle to get free. And no matter what we try to show them they will always screw up because they are human and that’s what we do. She showed me they need to know that in your arms and heart they always have somewhere to return to after they screw up. My son's will someday disappoint me. But they will always know I love them, and should they return home for some reason; I'll sit down and talk to them like adults and take out my anger at the gym and cry after they are sleep.
My mother did teach me that children need affection. There was never a moment in my young childhood when I wasn't getting hugged or kissed. I have those memories to hold on to. And I know that no matter how old my kids get they will always get hugs and kisses from me as I smile and ignore the protests of "Moo-ooom, I'm too big for this." … Yes ... Yes dear you are, but you'll remember this moment when I'm gone.
My mother taught me that a woman can do anything she sets her mind to... without a man, a lesson that I had forgotten in recent years. We never went hungry, we were never "homeless" for very long. We were gypsy's for a while but that was an adventure, and I think I learned from those experiences. We may have moved around a lot but I remember that every time we were settled long enough she was always registered in whatever community college was close by... every time. It may have taken her years to do but she obtained her college degree a few years ago. We weren't speaking then but she sent me her degree. I have it framed in my house, and I'm always proud when I see it.
My mother raised me alone my whole life, and she may have made some mistakes. But, all humans do, no one is perfect. And one of my kid's may be writing a story like this in 20 years. Who knows?
There are many things I know now as a mom because of things she didn't do. But there are many things she did do. Although we don't speak now because of old wounds and old hurts. I know that perhaps someday we will. And I know that she tried her best and that she loved me in the best way she could.
To all the mother's out there reading this; Just do the best you can to make sure your children know you love them, the other mistakes will seem small in comparison, but bringing them back if they don't know you love them will be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do.
Posted by Toni Lynch
